How To Not Give a Flying F**k in 2022
I’m writing this post at the very last minute as I had some OT in my motherhood duties and I had to reschedule my rescheduled schedule for writing a blog post. But here we are: how to not give a flying fuck in 2022.
Besides the fact that we all have been going through pandemic, which exposed the problem of mental health issues, I feel 100% authorized to give a few tips on how to not give a fuck. Actually, one tip. Not because of the influence of the famous “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***” book, but simply because I went through my own episode of postpartum depression, and it took me a lot of time, therapy, and good medication to learn how not to be people’s pleaser.
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That’s your worst enemy. You lay down in bed, it’s time to wind down and get ready for restful night, but all the intrusive thoughts start going through your head and it doesn’t stop. It’s very easy to simply say “stop overthinking”, but usually when I hear this line, I get even more frustrated. Trust me: someone who has problems with overanalyzing, is aware of that. The question is: how do you do that?
I was told that I should occupy my mind with something that will keep me busy. I started cooking like crazy. I crocheted. I konmari-ed my whole house. None of this helped. Whenever I finished meal prep, my brain went on an unpleasant over analysis trip torturing me with questions about whether the food I made was good or maybe my husband is just trying to be nice by saying that the dinner was good when in fact it was awful? Whenever I put out the unnecessary items from my house trying to make it as minimalistic as possible, I had an anxiety that my neighbors will think that I am a hoarder. Crocheting made me feel insecure because I only know a few stitches and YouTube gurus did everything better than I did.
So what helped me?
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To be more specific, doing something that has always been giving me a sense of fear of failure. Something that makes me feel uncomfortable. I have always wanted to own an online shop promoting natural beauty, sustainability and zero waste movement, sex positivity, and wellness. But how do I do it? How do you start a shop? How do you build a website? How do you search and buy inventory? How do you promote your products? The “hows” and “buts” kept adding and stopped me for good 6 months before I decided one day to simply go with the flow.
In September 2021, I decided it was high time to stop thinking about having an online shop with Korean skincare and to just start owning one. It gave me an awful feeling of being uncomfortable as I knew I would expose all my skills to the public’s judgment. I had no idea about designing posts, creating captions, taking photos plus the reels. Oh My Lawd! The idea of creating reels was like a punishment: exposing my face out there into the world showing up without make-up and with my rosacea?!
The train to over analysis left the station and almost made me quit, but I decided that I will quit only if I use all the resources available to promote my store. And since I haven’t exploited all the resources available, I am still here.
How this whole experience taught me not to overanalyze and to not care? I started feeling comfortable doing the uncomfortable things. It almost became my habit to do things that make me cringe more and more often. You may think that I pressured myself into doing something I don’t like doing. I call it getting out of my comfort zone. Going make up free, photo filter free, not fixating myself over the new parenting tips that I don’t follow – these are just tiny steps that help me feel liberated. I want to be fully honest with you: it wouldn’t happen without the help of the specialized mental health care, but I strongly believe that forcing myself to “get out there” helped me to stop giving a flying fuck. I finally feel free, and I am not worried about somebody’s opinion. Of course, I overanalyze from time to time, I am not there yet to say that I stopped doing it completely.
But I am on the right path.
And so are you.
You’ve got this.
Till next time!